People in the Park

As i watched my son heading towards the slide ...i decided to study the people who had come to the park. 

Young couples had come to chat and spend some moments together after a hectic day. Retired or aged people had accompanied their grandchildren to watch them play and simultaneously keep an eye on them as they frolicked merrily. Homemakers had come after a weary day toiling at home and were content to simply sit down and breathe in the fresh evening air for some time & maybe forget their worries for a while. I wondered if there were others like me who were watching what the others were doing...but i seemed to be the only one watching what the others were doing. 

Mothers like me will vouch for the fact that it is impossible to relax while toddlers are at work( or play). As i looked at the medley it reminded me of an essay i had read ages ago. Too many people. Short people, tall people, people with beaks....now i want to add my category to this list....inquisitive people, obnoxious people, helpful ones, eager people( eager to learn and instruct), confident people, overconfident people( too many to count) and people simply lacking the will or confidence to achieve something in life. 

My son had by now formed a group of similar-sized toddlers and they were happily frolicking in the park and chatting in their own completely incomprehensible language. As i watched him for a few minutes my mind wandered again. 

The chaiwalla was in the midst of brisk business selling tea, coffee to souls in desperate need of some relaxation. A few young mothers gossiped about everything under the sun while their children played and danced on their own. 

I am fascinated by the People in the park who stopover at the park for a few hours. Some prefer to soak up the solitude, some prefer to watch their children play and are anxious all the time, some prefer to indulge in chit-chat & some like me love to stroll around the park while my pride and joy makes friends with all and sundry...

The Trials & Tribulations of Motherhood & a Tribute to my Mother

As I returned to work after a hiatus I realized there is nothing more therapeutic than work…nobody realizes the importance of work when they are working, its only after a long gap that u realize how imperative it is…..Anyways let me not digress as I want to share my thoughts on the Trials & Tribulations of Motherhood & Losing My Mother.

I read somewhere that being a full-time mother is among the highest salaried jobs in any sphere as the payment is pure love…My son is now 14 months old…an impressionable age. From the day he was born I was inundated by a spontaneous overflow of powerful emotions….if I might borrow the phrase. I’m sure every mother will agree that when you see your baby for the first time it’s an indescribable feeling. When you give birth to a tiny being it’s almost akin to a miracle. The emotions, the feelings are spontaneous & there is an irresistible urge to shield your child from the dangerous world.

As you watch your baby grow up & blossom, it’s another phase altogether. I read this quote that being a mother is learning all about strengths you didn’t know you had and simultaneously dealing with fears you didn’t know existed. Yes, there are hidden, unmentioned fears. The worst fear is if you are doing everything you should for your child. In hindsight I realize it’s not possible to do everything right. We are humans, prone to mistakes. Obviously we want to give the best to our baby & we do but we should realize that we will make mistakes along the way too…it’s the best way to learn after all.

Let me begin my tribute to my Mother with a quote from Eliza Cook.

I miss thee, my Mother! Thy image is still
The deepest impressed on my heart.

Barely a month after my son was born my mother passed away. Dealing with the birth of my son, the sincere advice of my so-called well-wishers & facing the fact that my mother was afflicted with an incurable illness was devastating, crippling almost.
   
I realized there was one thing I would have to deal with, a thought which is aptly stated by Francis Thompson: the initial desolation and terror of realizing that your mother can lose you or you her and your subsequent abysmal loneliness and helplessness without her.

I will not bore people with mundane details on how much I loved my mother…the first thought which will come to your mind is…we all do! Yes, I loved her…love her a lot. It’s only after she passed away that I realized her true worth…the caring, unconditional loving & affection which was so easily & effortlessly bestowed on me & my sister. Rachel Wolchin aptly enunciates that we should Call our mother & tell her you love her. After all, you're the lone person who realizes what her heart sounds like from the inside…

As I watch my son grow up, observe his funny & sometimes silly antics there are times I wish my mother was there to share these special moments with me. No one can replace your mother because She’s Special….I realized how special she is only when she was not there anymore, unfortunately.

The best part of becoming a mother is when you realize that a mother’s heart conceals a deep abyss at the floor of which you will find forgiveness for eternity.

I didn’t realize the sacrifices my mother had made, what she had actually done to bring us up the way she did until I’m actually faced with these challenges on my own. Dealing with a precocious, energetic & extremely naughty child…I wonder at times am I doing this perfectly…would my mother have done it in any other way.

To end my tribute to my mother & my account of the trials & tribulations of Motherhood this citation by Margaret Culkin Banninghin is quite apt. She states that a mother is someone who never quite leaves her children at home, even when she doesn’t take them along…

Goynar Baksho (The Jewellery Box)

Goynar Baksho (The Jewellery Box)

Goynar Baksho, directed by Aparna Sen is a nice film. One thing I like about Aparna Sen`s films is that there is always something different to look forward to in her films.

Goynar Baksho is an intriguing story of a Jewellery Box which originally belongs to Pishima, a captivating character. The Jewellery Box is handed down to three generations of women & how the women use the box is what the story is all about.

Pishima is a mysterious, delightful yet affable character. She is impish, mischievous & unpredictable. The story begins & ends with her though this is a deviation from the original story. Apparently Aparna Sen liked Pishima a lot so she wanted to retain her throughout the film.

After her demise, Pishima asks Somlata (Konkona Sen Sharma) to take her Jewellery Box & hide it so that the people residing in the palatial yet broken down house cannot claim it. Somlata is a timid yet determined lady who wants to use the jewels to improve the declining fortunes of their family. She convinces her husband to start a new business of selling saris and also gets him to mend his ways. Somlata or Konkona Sen Sharma is a powerhouse performer & has done full justice to the role.

In the final stage, Chaitali played by Srabanti uses the Jewellery box in an unusual way. Srabanti takes on a dewy fresh, understated look which is quite different from her usual avatar.

There's a particular scene towards the end of the film where the mercurial pishima's ghost asks her granddaughter Chaitali to join her for a smoke on the balcony. Pishima is a ghost yet she has a lot to do & say in this film. In fact she controls all the people either directly or indirectly. Moushumi has essayed Pishima`s role brilliantly & you can almost feel the anguish & desperation of a woman who is widowed early in life.

This endearing tale spanning three generations of women is a must watch for Konkona & Pishima`s fantastic performances. After watching the film you will realize that a Jewellery Box is not merely a place where you can store your jewels & hand it down from generation to generation. It transforms people…brings out their innermost feelings & desires. On the other hand the new generation represented by Chaitali shows a marked disinclination towards wearing jewellery seeing it merely as something to be used during difficult times.

The pace of this film is slow but it is a nice film to watch for the riveting performances. This is an engaging tale of sorrow & unfulfilled yearning sprinkled liberally with Aparna Sen`s & the author’s inimitable humour. The Jewellery Box definitely opens Pandora’s Box of emotions, desires & longings. 

Holi-The Festival of Gaiety & Colours

Holi-The Festival of Gaiety & Colours

Holi is among the most popular festivals in India. This gregarious event is celebrated with a lot of fervour and gaiety in the month of Phalgun. Holi is a vibrant festival of colours.  

Holi is also referred to as the Spring Festival as it marks the onset of spring which is also the season of hope and ecstasy. Nature rejoices during the onset of Holi and wears its best attire. The fields are filled with crops which promise a good harvest to the farmers and flowers blossom and lend a vibrant hue to the surroundings even as their inimitable fragrance pervades the atmosphere.

A quintessentially Hindu festival, Holi has different legends linked with it. The foremost is the fable of the demon King Hiranyakashyap who sought allegiance from everybody in his kingdom. However his devout son Prahlad became a disciple of Lord Vishnu. Hiranyakashyap wanted his son to be executed and asked his sister Holika to go into a blistering fire with Prahlad in her lap as Holika was immune to fire due to a boon. Eventually Prahlad was saved by the lord owing to his extreme devotion and Holika was killed as her boon worked only when she went into the fire alone. Ever since, people light a bonfire during Holi called Holika and commemorate the triumph of good over evil.

The impish and playful Lord Krishna initiated the trend of playing colours and applied colour liberally on his beloved, Radha. This trend continues and people smear colour on their beloved along with friends and family members during this festive occasion. In fact Vrindavan, Mathura and Barsana are popular places to visit during Holi if you wish to capture the verve of this vivacious festival.

Lots of people drink intoxicating bhang on this special day to celebrate Holi. Bhang transforms sober individuals to outgoing and gregarious ones and their bizarre antics are a reason for extreme merriment among the restrained individuals.

After an exciting day people meet friends and loved ones in the evening and exchange festive greetings along with sweets.

Holi is a festival of gaiety & colours. It encourages different individuals to come together and smear colour on one another regardless of caste. You must take part in this vibrant, colourful & extremely joyous festival to fully comprehend its significance. Enjoy this day with family or friends and if someone smears colour on you ….forgive him/her. As the saying goes….burra Na mano, holi hain!! (Don’t mind its Holi after all)

The King’s Speech-Review

Saw a beautiful film on TV yesterday… The King’s Speech. Colin Firth is one of my favourite actors. I fell in love with him after his wonderful portrayal of Mr Darcy in Pride & Prejudice. Though he looked older in this film, he has done a fantastic job.

                                                                                                  

The King’s Speech tells the story of Bertie (Colin Firth) who suffers from a devastating speech impediment. After his father King George V’s demise and the renunciation of King Edward VIII (Guy Pearce) Bertie is unexpectedly crowned King George VI of England.

His country is on the brink of war and urgently needs an able leader. Bertie`s spouse Elizabeth (Helena Bonham Carter) arranges a meeting with an unconventional speech therapist named Lionel Logue (Geoffrey Rush).

The two are not the best of friends initially. However after a shaky start they initiate an unusual course of treatment and form a permanent bond in due course.

Logue assists Bertie to rise above his speech impediment. With his family and his Government‘s support Bertie the King at last overcomes his stammer.

Watch the climax for the poignant radio-address by the King that inspires his citizens and unites them during conflict. It stops where Bertie wins the battle within himself and a valiant King emerges at the onset of a devastating war.

The film is a must watch for the excellent performances of Colin Firth and Geoffrey Rush. Look for their onscreen chemistry as they rival each other in terms of delivering startling performances and catapult the film to a completely different level. It’s amazing how an actor as vocal as Colin Firth stammers and delivers an unbelievably stirring performance with Geoffrey Rush as his worthy match.

I simply loved this film & will watch it again if I get the chance. There is something inexplicable about this film that just tugs at your heartstrings. Don’t take my word for it …see it to believe it! 

Change

Change

Change is a part of life. Although we are aware of this fundamental truth, we somehow refuse to accept it. Why is it so difficult for us to accept something new? We are so used to the old order of things we refuse to believe that a new order might actually be beneficial for us.

Let us first analyze the meaning of the word change. It is the course of accepting and becoming different. Confusing? Well yes! Change also refers to Social Change which is a modification in society’s social order. However we are concerned with Personal development. This is all the more important if it is perceived as a personally life-changing aspect.

Change is an integral element of life. Without it, our life becomes monotonous, lacklustre, repetitive & distasteful. How many of us can happily go through the tasks of everyday life without feeling even a wee bit irritated at times?

Change is essential for our development. If we analyze it scrupulously lots of changes occur throughout our life. It’s as if we are enacting different roles…as Shakespeare stated…

All the world's a stage,

And all the men and women merely players:

They have their exits and their entrances;

And one man in his time plays many parts.

Yes we do play different parts in the course of our existence. From an infant to a whining school-boy to the doleful lover! We enact different roles…a child, an adolescent, a young man or woman, a wife, a mother…..we have different roles to play in the course of life. Throughout all these roles only one factor remains constant: change.

I firmly believe that change is an essential part of life whether we accept it or not. Without it we wither, decay and die a hundred times before our death. Accept change and move on in life. Don’t dwell on past mistakes. We’ve all been there & done that! Change is a beautiful part of life. So, live out the roles you were meant to play and lead a happy, fulfilled life.

Different Kinds of people I Interact with

People

We meet different kinds of people in our day-to-day life. Take for instance the person who comes to clean the house...maid, domestic help whatever we call her.... we treat that person as a nameless, faceless entity & only realize their worth when they don`t come for a a single day.  

When we go to the market for veggies we meet different kinds of people. Rude, obnoxious people combined with polite and pleasant people. Polite people are few & far between nowadays. In our day to day dealings we come across more & more obnoxious people. These people are ready to criticize you but then there are good people who will go out of their way to assist you in difficult situations.

There`s a lady from whom i buy fresh flowers everyday. She`s abusive and horribly rude... or so it appears to people. One day i spoke to her like i would with another human being & voila i realized that she`s human after all :) another flower-seller is deaf & it`s tough when you have to use signals to tell her what you want. Most of the time i say something & she understands something else....something different from the original request. 

Another interesting person I meet on a daily basis is a Buffalo. No No, not an animal....a person. This is humorous indeed. The person in question resembles a buffalo so we refer to him in this context. Till date we don`t know his name. He is a nice, affable person but a buffalo nevertheless. He is a skilled salesman... he can even sell a comb to a bald person.. his remarkable selling skills of things you don`t really need notwithstanding he is a nice person & someone i look forward to conversing with on a daily basis.



Our neighbors are supposed to be our Saviors during distress.. are they really? or are they more interested in finding out what is happening in your life...who`s dating who, who`s not getting married & why... yes they are helpful at times but then they are too interfering most of the time. .

We meet lots of interesting and not-so-interesting people in our day-to-day life. Some we have to tolerate, some we don`t... i think the best way to conclude is to state that God made relatives, thank God we can choose our friends :)  

Satisfaction

People seek satisfaction in strange places. Some of us are not satisfied regardless of what comes our way. Ambitious people are not satisfied easily while placid ones(sorry fr the expression) are easily happy. 

When you look at children they are happy unconditionally. Give them a toffee or a chocolate & voila, they are in seventh heaven. Why don`t we feel the same way? I am not referring to material possessions which anyway will not give you lasting only momentary happiness. 

Maybe happiness & satisfaction are two dissimilar elements. Maybe we are happy but not satisfied and vice-versa. Maybe Satisfaction is the sole domain of spiritual people. After all, they are the only ones who are happy with life....satisfied. 

What to do?

what to do? 

What to do when nobody defends you?

What to do when nobody listens to you?

How to get rid of this debilitating loneliness?

What to do when not a soul understands your innermost feelings & desires?

How to please people uninhibitedly?

How to lead your own life without any meddling from well-meaning people?

How to retain your individuality even in a relationship?

I am Sick & Sick & Tired of people telling me what to do!  

I am a person in my own right. Do I not have the right to lead an independent life?

Lord, save me from Intrusion & Deliver me from Evil.

So that I can lead a happy and more importantly, Contented life.

Forever & Ever, Amen!

An Unforgettable Experience

An Unforgettable Experience

Surgery……the word conjures terrifying images in one’s mind.  Doctors in green garb, knives, scissors and other lethal instruments instantly come to mind. Similar thoughts crossed my mind when I learnt that I would have to undergo Surgery for Retinal Detachment.

Petrified is too mild a word to describe what I felt. To make matters worse, my surgery was scheduled on a Monday.  This was one weekend I was definitely not looking forward to.

When I arrived at BB Eye Foundation, Minto Park I was a bundle of nerves. My surgeon Dr Sourav Sinha eased my tension considerably. He is a remarkably skilled, genial and compassionate person.  When a person realizes that surgery is imminent, compassion is something you need in large doses.

Nothing on earth could prepare me for what I was about to experience inside the OT. In spite of my best efforts, I could not curb my anxiety. Dr Sinha conversed with me at length throughout the surgery. It helped to distract me from the task, at hand.

The surgery continued for an hour, approximately. At the end of it, I thanked Dr. Sinha. I was quite surprised when he thanked me saying that I’d been a co-operative patient.

My sister and my husband were with me all through the ordeal, if I am permitted to call it so. My mother also helped a lot. Of course, they had to wait outside, but seeing their affable faces made me realize that yes, the worst is over.You don`t thank your family but i really wish i could thank them for their love and unconditional support.

It’s been more than 3 months since the surgery. My husband & I have visited BB Eye Foundation many times since that day. Every time we go there, Dr. Sinha is as friendly and warm as he was on that fateful day. His reassuring smile is always there whenever I face any doubt.

In line of Oscar acceptance speeches, I would like to thank a few people for helping me to overcome the ordeal like my husband & my sister & my mother for being with me through thick &a thin and Dr Sinha for his humane nature. I am recuperating slowly and steadily, however I have learnt a lot from this unforgettable experience.